Eli

Next week Elijah will be 6  months old.

Oh My God.

It seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital. Waiting for him to arrive. Then brining him home. Going to Puerto Rico. And he still wasn't even a month old!

My baby's growing up too fast. I don't like it. I look at him and look at the smiles he has. And the things he can do. He is eating food, sitting up, laughing out loud!

I miss just staring at him while he would sleep. He would sleep so hard that no matter what you did he wouldn't even wake up. Even when I wanted him up. And I would try everything too. Poking him, saying his name, or tickling him. I even tried using a wet wash cloth on his face and body to try and wake him up. But he just laid there.

Now he has such a personality, I don't even know what to do. I can take a toy away and he'll actually get mad. He knows it was his toy and that I took it.

He also knows when Rob or I are home. He sits with me and then as soon as he hears his dad's keys, he looks at the door and then stares at Rob until he says 'Hello' and then Elijah just smiles and laughs. He loves his daddy! It even sounds like he's starting to say mama or dada when we're around. It's so amazing.

I love Eli so much but I'm sad. I feel like these 6 months have gone by so fast. I feel like, somehow, I've missed everything. They really mean it when they say you should cherish those first months. Because they learn so much so fast.

But at the same time,

I can't wait to see what he'll do next!

Adoption Thoughts

So all of a sudden out of the blue, I've been thinking about adoption again. And how I was adopted.

It's really upsetting.

I actually dont even want to talk about it. I dont know why I'm posting this. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm confused.

I tried looking for her today. My birth "mother". I look on the internet. On myspace. Facebook even. I don't even know what the bitch looks like.

whatever.

Work Again

So yesterday I missed work. I've been sick since Monday and it really sucks. All I really want to do is sleep, but I can't. Not only do I have Elijah but I just can't get comfortable. I'm either too hot or too cold. And if it's not that it's because I can only breath out of one side of my nose. I haven't taken any medicine because I need to be awake to take care of Elijah.

I'm just really upset that I had to miss work though. I NEED this job. Rob and I need two incomes to get everything paid. And I called in a 1/2 hour before I had to go in and she said I might get marked down as a no show. And that's really bad! I can't lose this job! Well, that made me more upset so I have started job searching again. Well, just for one place.

I applied at Culver's. A lot of people from McDonalds are going there and one of my new good friends from McDonalds just found out she's going there too! And I don't want to be alone. So I've decided to apply there too. Plus it's like and instant $2.o0 raise. They start off at $9.00.

Well, I hope they don't hate me at McDonalds. I really like my job there and the people. It's just, I was sick! Like, barfy sick. And I don't want to get any costumers sick.

Well, anyway. Elijah is 5 months old. Getting so much bigger! Rob and I are planning on getting a family picture done. Sometime soon!

That's all!

Work

Well I guess I'll only be posting 1 blog a month, haha!

So, I just started working at McDonalds last week and so far so good. I just worked my first closing last night. It went really good. I was tired but I made it through. I was there till 2am. That's 3 hours past my bed time, haha! When I got home it was 2:30 am and I wasn't tired anymore. So I took a shower, which usually makes me tired, and then tried to go to bed. When that failed I got on the computer and updated Myspace and Facebook and Rob woke up and thought I was doing "stuff behind his back" and got all pissed so I shut of the computer.

Whatever.

Anyways, I only got 4 hours of sleep.

Next week, my schedule is M-F, 4-10, 4-close, 4-10, 6-close, 4-1o.

I'm not sure if I'll make it to be honest. It's hard working the closing and then getting home at 2am and then having to get up with a baby at 7am. Especally a baby who decided that he no longer takes morning naps, only afternoon naps, and like to have all eyes on him. So I get no nap. This sucks.

But we need the money. To be honest. Rob needs to get his 2nd job. Or a better paying job. Because, well, he promised me that that's what he would do for his family. But instead he bitches and moans about everything and says I don't do anything during the day. Oh, sorry I'm taking care of OUR baby! He promised me I would be a stay-at-home mom like we had planned and HE would be the MAN of the house and get HIMSELF the 2nd job. But noooooo, all of a sudden when where in a money bind, I'm the one who has to stop how I've been taking care of the baby for 4 fucking months and look for a stupid job that he fucking said he was going to fucking get!!!!!!

...Okay. I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I'm going to take a nap.

Well, oops!

I guess the main reason I made this was completly blown out the window.

I'm no longer pregnant. And I haven't been for almost 4 months. SO! New stuff I can make this blog about? BABY OF COURSE! Haha!

So I have had my baby. His name is Elijah Robert. He is beautiful in every way, shape, and form. He looks like me AND his dad! No matter what Rob says.

He was born on April 6th 2008 at 3:41am. It was a long (to me) labor. 16 hours. And by the time it was over, I was TIRED!

But now he's 3 months going on 4 and he's so big! I loves him! =]

New Blog

I've had lots of blogs. My longest was my Xanga blog. But this is new. I'm making it because well, i'm pregnant and well, i like to blog! I blog on myspace and stuff, but it's different having a blog. I enjoy ranting. lol

That's what this will be. My little place to rant. Yay me!